Oh those meth-heads

[theducks]

So I had a bit of a chat with one of the local meth heads today. They have such wacky stories about why they need money. This guy's story was that he was Australian and he'd flown in yesterday on Air Canada and his wife had taken everything to Whistler and accidentally left him without any money or ID.

Bless his heart, he did actually have a kangaroo tattoo with "Australia" below it, which made it a bit more believable than many. Perhaps many Australians would have looked past the case of meth-mouth he had and just handed over some money. Except, I'm a bastard.

Me: "So you're Australian?"
Him: "Yup, g'day mate and all that"
Me: "So where did you live?"
Him: "Sydney"
Me: "Ok, what was your postcode there?"
Him: "I don't remember" (some ramblings about jetlag here)
Me: "Who's the current Prime Minister of Australia?"
Him: "Well it's not John Howard anymore"
Me: "Very good, no it isn't, who is it?"
Him: "umm"
Me: "So you flew here with Air Canada yesterday from Sydney via Hawaii?"
Him: "Yes"
Me: "What was the flight number?"
Him: "Umm AC27950"
Me: "No, try again"
Him: "No, that was the number!"
Me: "Unfortunately I know Air Canada's flight number for that flight, and that isn't it"
Me: "What's your Australian passport number?"
Him: "P98375691"
Me: "Oooh, too many digits and all the P-series passports have all expired. But I'll give you points for effort. You stand here, I'll walk two metres away, then come back and give you all the coins in my pocket"

Unfortunately for him that only came to about 70c. You win some, you lose some.

Comments

[lordbug.livejournal.com]

Mad props for the awesome bastardisation :D

[evil-megz.livejournal.com]

I hope I never need money off you and have you quiz me on flight and passport numbers; you'll probably think I'm already dead from a heroin OD. I can generally remember my postcode, but would probably forget it at the end of that long a flight, too.

At least I know our prime minister is now Barack Obama, though!

[theducks.livejournal.com]

Well, if he didn't already have quite a case of meth-mouth, just answering one of those questions even slightly sensibly may have got him some money from me.

[greteldragon.livejournal.com]

You're an amazing snob with most of those questions.

I'm never surprised when people don't know our prime minister is. Next time ask who hosts Today Tonight or something. :P

[frostlight1.livejournal.com]

So as to clear up my confusion, what is a meth head, and what is meth-mouth? Was he a beggar, or is handing out money to those qualified to have it part of your job description?

Personally, I would never be able to tell you my passport number or flight number off by heart - I don't even look at the flight number when flying - just the time of departure and destination. And there was a period of about six months when I didn't know who Australia's prime minister was thanks to being overseas with no internet access when the election was held. I feel sorry for the poor guy - he might have actually been legit!

[frostlight1.livejournal.com]

And as for postcodes - if he moved frequently or did a lot of travelling, it's quite understandable that he might forget his. I know that I can't remember any of my old postcodes now, and it takes a while to remember a new one unless you deliberately make the effort.

[theducks.livejournal.com]

If you'd heard his crazy rant, which included staying last night at the most expensive hotel in Vancouver, you'd think there was only a 5% chance that he was in the situation he said he was. His lack of sensible answers to any of my questions convinced me he was, as we say, full of shit.

[kudzita.livejournal.com]

Wait, there are really a lot of Ozzies who don't know who the current Prime Minister is? Yeesh, and here I thought we Americans were the only ones out of it enough to consistently not know who was nominally in charge of our country...

Well played, Alex! I somehow doubt that panhandling would be the immediate response of someone in the situation painted by Mr. Meth Head.